How to shoot a hat
… in 27 easy steps.
- Knit hat.
- Wash hat.
- Resist urge to photograph hat while damp.
- Look for a sunny spot in the house.
- Give up finding a sunny spot in the house.
- Get
whitewhitish sheet of paper. - Arrange sheet of paper so that half lies on a flat surface and half leans against a somewhat stable vertical surface.
- Remove cat from paper.
- Secure sheet of paper so it stops sliding.
- Spray cat with squirt bottle.
- Position hat on paper
as artistically as possibleso it doesn’t suck. - Spray the other cat.
- Reposition hat.
- Talk to cats in Italian.
- Go into the other room to get a lint roller.
- Remove cat hair from paper and reposition hat.
- Put extra food in the kitty dish.
- Set white balance and take first picture. Blurry.
- Chase cats out of the room and vow never to buy a house with an open plan again.
- Take second picture with one hand while keeping cat #1 at bay. Super Blurry.
- Spray both cats.
- Ask Ben if he can take the cats into his office.
- Give up on Ben since he’s coding and can’t parse human language.
- Rearrange hat on paper and try to take third picture.
- Explain to cat that you need to take at least a few pictures without feline body parts in or around the hat.
- Acknowledge the limitations of the human condition.
- Shoot whatever pictures you can.
whatever
Monique Raphel High
This is way better that “The Cat in the Hat.” I have a cat and he totally approves. But then, he has his own Facebook page! And, yes, I have a Ben, too, and mine doesn’t code but does legal work; same diff. They don’t speak English.
Love your work!
May
yeah, pets. they have no concept of the importance of photos without them in it.
Ava
Oh this is too funny! But a precious photo.
dee near Berkeley
How did I miss this one?? Of course, the spray bottle is a necessity. Those cats are just hams in fur coats. But the resulting photo is far better than one without the cat. At least, in my NSHO.
Bethany
Aren’t cats wonderful? One of my cats loves to lay on paper or anything at all on the floor, too. Thankfully she’s too lazy to frustrate my photo-snapping. :P
Love that hat, did I say so before? So pretty!
karen
I haven’t tried the “talk to cats in Italian” technique…and every photo is improved with a bit of cat in it.
Annie
I missed this, how did I miss this! I’ve read it twice and I’m still giggling :D
(Wanna’ swop 2 cats for 5 whippets?)
Aesoon
What’s wrong with having a cat in the picture? He is too beautiful.
Carolyn
Oooh, pretty hat! I’d’ve stuffed it on the cat after around step 13 or so. But you are a much more clever photographer than I.
Italian Dish Knits
So funny! Your cat is sweet.
Alyssa
But it’s still a very lovely cat… I mean hat!! Beautiful hat! Yes.
Lisa
I am sure Piper just wanted us to appreciate how closely you matched his beautiful coat.
Rosie
Oh, that must have been soo frustrating, but I do love that pciture .
fleegle
Yeah. Check out the photo of my Crocus shawl. I gave up. What is up with cats and photographing knitting?
Lydia
Hah! So true!
Yarndude
Hahaha!!! Oh my god, you’re hilarious. I can not stop laughing. Number 11, story of my life. I love the cat! I mean hat. I love the HAT! (I love the cat, too.)
Cillaann
OMG!!!!!!!! My stomach hurts so much it isn’t funny from laughing. Gotta love the boys!!!! I am sorry, I use to know your pains with Audrey when she was alive. Though putting her in M’s lap while he was coding usually stopped her.
Love the photo even more after reading the post!