… in 27 easy steps.
- Knit hat.
- Wash hat.
- Resist urge to photograph hat while damp.
- Look for a sunny spot in the house.
- Give up finding a sunny spot in the house.
whitewhitish sheet of paper.
- Arrange sheet of paper so that half lies on a flat surface and half leans against a somewhat stable vertical surface.
- Remove cat from paper.
- Secure sheet of paper so it stops sliding.
- Spray cat with squirt bottle.
- Position hat on paper
as artistically as possibleso it doesn’t suck.
- Spray the other cat.
- Reposition hat.
- Talk to cats in Italian.
- Go into the other room to get a lint roller.
- Remove cat hair from paper and reposition hat.
- Put extra food in the kitty dish.
- Set white balance and take first picture. Blurry.
- Chase cats out of the room and vow never to buy a house with an open plan again.
- Take second picture with one hand while keeping cat #1 at bay. Super Blurry.
- Spray both cats.
- Ask Ben if he can take the cats into his office.
- Give up on Ben since he’s coding and can’t parse human language.
- Rearrange hat on paper and try to take third picture.
- Explain to cat that you need to take at least a few pictures without feline body parts in or around the hat.
- Acknowledge the limitations of the human condition.
- Shoot whatever pictures you can.